It's never too late to become what you might have been

I'm sure I'm in good company when I say I've been in holiday mode. I've been over working, eating poorly, and have been inconsistent in my workout. So I'm starting anew. I'm going back to my Beachbody program that I loved so much (Combat) to go with my weights (I love to lift now). With starting again, I need measurements and pictures, which I'll post again. It's sadly gone up I suspect since the last time I posted. My main goal is to have less inches. I've learned that I don't care about the scale. I care about the inches and how my clothes fit. I'm still in my size 1/3. My 0 is getting too tight. It's funny when I write that out, it seems like I've gotten tiny. And yet I still feel huge. I don't know if it's because I've been fat most of my life and I just can't seem to think of or see myself as anything but. Maybe that'll change sometime with the next few weeks as I go through my Beachbody challenge. I...

So sadly, I have not been very good at this challenge. I've been eating poorly and not enough and I don't exercise outside of work (I'm a server and I walking around my restaurant during a shift is at least five miles, but I'm not counting that as exercise; that's work). So today is another day 1. My friends want to go to Vegas for the new year so I might as well use that as a goal deadline. I've lost motivation for all things lately and I need to find my way back. So maybe in an attempt to do so, here's more assignments from my little challenge group that may make me feel more motivated. 16th:  What do you do that makes you feel like a rock star/badass? I think the thing that makes me feel most like a bad ass is a great leg day and a kickboxing session. There's something about the two that makes me feel great. I wish an upper body day did it but sadly it doesn't. I think it's cause I don't feel anything in my upper body when I do them sho...

I got my workout in! I did my calorie counting. I just told myself to just do it! I felt quite ridiculous doing my Combat. It still makes me feel like a bad ass. And I'm not as out of shape as I thought I was so YAY! BUT, I did workout in front of a mirror and that was frightening! I just kept seeing my flaws and my layers of fat flying every where with every kick lol. It's a bit sad but I only really thought that a few times, I was too busy trying to remember the moves and keep up. But afterwards, I had time to reflect and all it made me sad and also made me think "I sooooooooooo need to do better on my diet!!!!!!" If those thoughts and images aren't good enough to keep me motivated, I don't know what is. It really was horrifying lol. Maybe I should've taken a picture of that and used it for motivation for every time I want to eat bad for me food lol. I need less body fat!!!!!! Other than that, my day was all together unproductive. I have yet to do my...

So, I'm going to be honest, and I haven't been doing all that well with my nutrition and workouts. I've done one official workout and have been tracking my food and water intake. I know I need more drive so I'll work on that today. And I haven't been doing much in terms of the weight loss group challenge's daily assignments so I'm catching up on all that on here, today! I did the 12th's assignment and did my measurements. That's posted on another day. 13th's Assignment: What’s one thing you are doing right? Well I don't feel like I'm doing much of anything right. I have been tracking my food and I have been eating as opposed to really badly only eating once or twice a day. So I suppose that counts? 14th's Assignment: Where do you work out? Home or Gym? Do you follow a program? I workout at both the gym and home. I found a few programs and have fused the two together to get my workout routine or weight training and cardio. 1...

Well today is Day 5 of my need to change and day 1 of my group challenge! And I needed some motivation to get me to workout today. Especially after today! I ate horribly and wasn't in the mood to workout. And then I went in search of some gym motivation and I got to thinking of my girl crushes. And all my girl crushes have been bad ass females. And today's was none other than Ronda Rousey! I might not love her acting but I have nothing but respect for her and her abilities and her bad ass-ery. I feel like I can relate to her. I love how she's a nerd at heart. She's a bad ass female who loves her Pokemon and her Game or Thrones. But above all that I love that she's gone through her share of struggles and has come up the better for it. I love that she's the prime example of strong is sexy in females. That there's not just the cliche version of beauty. She makes me want to not be a DNB (Do Nothing Bitch). Anyways, she got me up and off my butt to do some C...

Tomorrow is Day 1 with my 90 Day Challenge group!!! I feel so ill prepared for it since I know a big part of it is nutrition. I have the workouts planned but you can't out train a bad diet. And lately, I've been on an incredibly bad diet!!! My mornings usually start alright but when I get into work and there's no time to get a drink of water, let alone a quick snack when I get hungry, I tend to eat large meals and make bad food choices when I'm hungry. I need to go shop for my snacks like I did before so I can eat on the go. If I had a place for food at work, I'd bring more substantial food like my Greek yogurt and whatnot. So this preparing thing is no just about my fitness, but my Younique one as well. I'm feeling a bit discouraged right now since I can't seem to get any traction just yet. I just keep doing my social media, posting and reading and trying. I know I need to put more into that as well but with as mush as I work, it leaves little time to do...

Today I started off taking my measurements. So here they are; I wish they were different and amazingly small, but they aren't. Not in my eyes. Even though last night, my friends that I haven't seen in a while, all told me I looked good. I guess they've seen how I was and where I am now, that they see the difference while I still see me as fat. Anyways, here are my numbers: Starting Numbers Weight: 120lbs Arms (L/R): 11.5in/11in. Waist: 30.5 in Hips: 34.5in Thighs (L/R): 21.5in/21in Goal Numbers (for the DietBet)   Weight: 115lbs Arms (L/R): 10.5in/10.5in. Waist: 30 in Hips: 34in Thighs (L/R): 20.5in/20.5in I so need to find out how to have some muscular symmetry if that's possible lol. Tomorrow I'll do some pictures cause it's another way to see where I've been and where I want to go. Anyways, today didn't go as planned. I didn't eat as much as I wanted to. I ate like two meals and a few bites of a bagel was all I...

So lately, I've been in more than just a funk. I've been depressed. And it really hit me hard. It's lasted for a bit over a month now. And I know I should be better. I should've been able to get out of this since I've been depressed before and knew what this felt like. But before I had medication. I don't want medication to get me out of this. I didn't like how it made me feel when I was on the medication. So without the medication, I'm thinking working out and trying to get myself out of this depression may work. With that said, I don't feel the motivation to do so. It's a cycle. I don't want to feel like this, which should be motivation, but I'm not motivated since I'm depressed. I found my favorite Beachbody workout routines (aka Combat !!!); I picked it since I loved how it made me feel when I did it. It made me feel like a bad ass after a workout! And since I know I love weightlifting and building my booty, I found a lifting ro...

Okay, I'm back on this health kick. Well, slowly getting back into this. Today's focus for me is balance. I need to make time to get my workout time in with work and trying to get my side business going. All this work with both jobs is already tiring, but trying to get my business going is ruining my sleep and gym time. And consequently, it's ruining my diet. I need to carve out time to do it all. I'm trying to gear up for my November push for my business. And I'm trying not to gain any more weight. And I'm also trying to get back into healthy eating habits. To start to get back to healthy me, I've joined a 90 day challenge group. Hopefully this keeps me accountable. Or at least will kick my butt and get back to it again. I liked me better than and I felt better than. I found a routine, or more like several, to kinda mix it up. I'm going back to my Combat for a mix of cardio. I can only do the stairs for so long lol. Plus, I loved that Combat made me...

Hey, all! I don't know what happened to my last post. I actually updated what I've been up to but for some reason, it got deleted. Maybe it's cause I did my post from my phone? My phone does suck and I'm going to try to get a new one in a few weeks. Anyways, I'm here. I've been a bit down and not really eating or working out. Add that on top of doing nothing but working, it's not a great combo. But I've been feeling better and I'm ready to start again. Especially since I've been seeing awesome things on Facebook that have been really inspiring. I think I'll start slow and steady again as I try to balance my health, work and my family life with everything. I'll do my pre-routine measurements and pictures, as much as I dread them. And I'll find a routine and check in with you lovely people. On a side, note, I know I just said that I'd be cutting back on work, but I did start up selling Younique. I know some of you are thinking...