Derailed In December And Still Off The Rails

So in December, I had every intention of being better, but it hasn't been going exactly as planned. It's actually been kinda bad. I've been a bit derailed. Maybe it was the holidays. Maybe it’s because I’ve been a little bit down and depressed. Maybe it was the weather of the season. Maybe it was and is all the working I've been doing.

Actually, now that I think about it, it's all of the above on top and being in school this semester that’s in my way. My workouts have been sporadic. Work has me drained more than usual. And being anemic and having poor nutrition as of late hasn't helped either. I don’t sleep as much because I work too much. One job has me up at 3 a.m. And the other job, when I work, has me up till like 11 p.m. If I schedule my workouts before work, then I’ll be up at like 2 a.m. I need to find a balance and change.

So to kind of start to change off things, I took on a trainer. It was going alright I suppose until like last month. I started my new second job and then I was out sick and the trainer was out of town. It’s been like a month since I’ve seen him. We just keep missing each other with our schedules. I think this is a sign I need to get back to being on my own and motivated?

So I’m starting all over again. I ordered myself another Beachbody product which I’m super excited for. I got myself some Cize! It’s a new dance workout program by Shaun T. I figured some cardio that I like will get me moving and not think about how much longer I’ll have to run to get to a time or calorie goal. I’m hoping it’ll be as fun as it seems to be.

And while I’m waiting for that to arrive in the mail, I’m going to try and get my food dialed in. Food is always where I go wrong cause I love food. And there’s that old adage of you can’t out train a bad diet. And I need to remember that. That and I need to remember ti hydrate. I need more water to help. Especially if I have a goal date in mind.

I signed up for Weight Watchers to try and track my food that way instead of thinking of food in calories. So far, it’s okay. I’m not all the impressed by the food database. Like they have a great database on like food chains and whatnot, but I’m not loving it when I’m looking for just 3 ounce baked skinless chicken breast without seasoning. I know I can put in my own recipe but it makes it harder to input on the go. Maybe I'll go back to meal prep and measuring things out. It's tedious, but I think it needs to happen before I get fatter. 

Also, with everything how it is, it’s left little time for my business. So, I’m going to be working on re-launching my site and getting that going again since class is coming to an end. I know I squandered my fast start, but I'm okay with it. I need to work on getting out there and doing more makeup. I do like to play with makeup. And the fact that I get a little kickback from the makeup I buy from myself makes me buy more lol. I know I need to get comfortable in front of my camera and listening to myself speak but it’s so hard when all I want to do is edit and delete everything I make. I’ve been told to stop and just let me be me. We’ll see how that goes.

I know I need before pictures and measurements so be expecting to see those up some time. It's a bit sad and embarrassing, that I let myself get back up in size, but it happens. Better to stop it now than to let myself get away from myself.